So what's happening now? Bethany and Luke have been married a year and a half-ish. Bethany is now 8 months pregnant with my very own Nephew!!

Zachary has moved hours away, out-of-state to be near his internet-girlfriend. They will be visiting soon.

Nate has been home from College for a short while now. And oohh myy word. He taught me how to hit a baseball!!! Sigh. Unfortunately, he is taking Rebekah to baseball game (*cough, date, cough* ...well maybe not) with my brother and his girlfriend when they come down here.

VBS starts soon. Medieval theme! YAY! My family has totally dorked out over the opportunity to wear our hoop skirts and stuff. My puppet is Dagwood the [not so] Dreaded Dragon. Whimpy dragon voice? I'm stumped.

Rain, rain, go away. No actually, I love thunderstorms. I just hate this humidity. 

ilyZ,
*Pinkie~

 Does anyone read this? Has anyone else added me to their friends list? I wonder...hmm.

Anyways, it's a new year. *2010* And there comes a point in ones life when you just feel like exhaling and telling all. So much CR*P has happened, but I've also had a lot of good times.

Some highlights: My sister, Bethany is pregnant. Today she finds out the sex of my nephew/niece!  Nate came home for Christmas break which was wonderful. We spent time together in groups doing stuff like games and the New Year's Party at church. I just was so thrilled to see him. Last Friday we had a Red-Cross Blood Drive at my church and that went well. The Fall Teen Retreat at camp was happy too. In not too long I will be going to the Teen Spring Challenge at camp. We will be getting a free violin in this household thanks to my uncle. My ukulele playing is coming along and I have written some "rough-draft" songs as well.

Some "low"lights: fighting with my parents, parents fighting with each other, burdens, getting behind, school, feeling stupid, drifting away from everyone, feeling almost lost, having no desire to do anything about my problems, feeling lonely and empty. Even though I don't always seem it, when the fun ends, this is how I'm left feeling, annoyed and picked on. An outcast, ashamed to be myself, hiding what I am. I could care less sometimes, but yet part of me does care...too much so. I want to have a certain life and I think if I try hard enough then maybe I have a chance, but another part of me decides that it'll never happen so why bother? Oh and the worst part of ALL is that my mom knows that I have a crush and I can't bear that. You don't have to gossip to hurt me, because I don't even what you just wondering what I'm thinking about when I say something or connecting something subconsciously. My feelings are MINE and I don't want you looking at me that way or judging me.

I feel like crying now when I watch a romantic movie because I can't go "AWW" because that would be awkward because even though the movie might have nothing to do with Nate and me, I will be wondering if my mom will be trying to figure out how much I like this guy or something and she won't even realize that. She tries too hard to be in every single part of my life that it makes me need to get away to breathe.

I hate how I feel like I can't be myself because really I just don't want certain people to know certain things because I value their view of me. Or maybe the view they have of me is stained because they know I keep secrets? Well maybe I need space and a tad bit of trust then so that those secrets aren't an "issue" just something called "privacy" or "personal affairs." There's a reason I don't tell you everything, but just because I don't want you to know everything that doesn't mean I'm a horrible person and that I'm hiding something bad. It's just something I think is awkward.

Bethany and Luke are way too smoochy! Oh my gosh! I was just like, "hahaha OK...don't look at them, they're being kissy again." Gosh get a room, right? Well it was kinddaaa cute.

We went to this really awesome place. It's like caves inside a building and a big aquariam in the main room and just like you could clim through pipes and the indoor treehouse and stuff. And they have lots of slides and especially this ginormous slide that reach from the top of the building (you can even see some light through the skylight as proof) all the way down to the bottom. And you can crawl up to the ceiling and climb all around inside and out. this place is a hugeee exploration jungle gym. It is sooo awesome. AMAZING!!!!! We went with my sisrer Bekah too. She loves that place.

So Rebekah came back from her short-term missions trip in Papua New Guinea with a ton of cool things. I got a small in-laid abelone box from Fiji along with a bracelet/necklace set. In PNG, she bought me a necklace, a lap-lap (wrap around skirt) and a Mari blouse (girl's top) and a bilum ("stringbag" or a woven purse). I feel bad because the bilum she bought me is kinda ugly. I mean it's got the pink in it, but  it's a boring design and the dark maroon and shades of pink kinda muddle together and the white looks dirty. Anyways, I haven't told her that.

We had BBQ recently to empty the fridge out to make room for the cakes. Daddy's started baking for the wedding on Saturday. *squee*.

I miss Nate.
The other day, my brother was on the upstairs computer (the one I use) so he could print something out. While he was on he went to facebook. When he got up, he was still logged on to facebook. So I made some embarrassing comments on his profile. Nothing bad. Just harmless fun. THen I saw Nate's profile. So I got to see a picture of him holding his new baby neice. And it's sooo cute. I saved it (is that too creepy and stalker-ish???). I got to see his status. He likes everything about Cali except the Dodgers another team (i forget) and the climate. His status also said "single", so I am glad to know he's not with some girl from his other church or something.....yet. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

ilyZ
~*PInkie!♥

A shiny blue Toyota Corolla! Tomorrow my brother Zach and my parents will be confirming the sale or whatever and we will trade in out crummy old Chrysler/Dodge caravan in the government's little "Cash for Clunkers" program. *rolling eyes!*
So tomorrow I will be up at an unnatural hour because unlike the people who live 10 minutes away from church, I live 35 minutes away and when they say "be there at nine" that means wake up at 7:45 in order to leave the house by 8:30 to get there by 9. BLEHHH.  OH WELL. :D ...I still want to go though.

Hey next weekend my sister, Bekah, comes home from her short term missions trip in Papua New Guinea! And at the same my sister, Bethany, and her husband, Luke, (How weird is that??? SHE'S MARRIED?!?!!!!) will be visiting. Oh gee, what fun! Now I can look forward to Luke sticking his toungue out at me and Bekah telling me to do something constructive with my time....like ride a bike.

Ugh. I need a showerrr...

ilyZ
~*Pinkie!♥

Will they or won't they trade our car in for cash=car while this whole "clunker" buying is going on? Well they're out shopping and coming back soon. I kinda hope we do get a new car, but on the other hand I don't want one. This is just such a good opportunity to take advantage of the government's idiot bail-outs.

Wellll. What to talk about? Oh....I had an idea yesterday that I just couldn't wait to write about, but now I forget.

ilyZ
~*Pinkie!♥

Every Thursday is my weekly VERSE-OF-THE-DAY thingy. so here ya go, I thought I'd post it here!!

Ecclesiastes 12:13

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."

So the book of Ecc. is about, basically, the purpose of life for man. This verse means that God's answer to the question of life is to serve God. Many people spend their whole life looking for "the meaning of life". Most of these people don't have God in their life. If they did, they would know that life was made to glorify God. God's will for you is that you honor Him.


(P.S. This is also Nate's life verse!!!!)


ilyZ!
~*Pinkie!♥

So you'd think with a father who *used* to make wedding cakes, there would be at least ONE wedding in my lifetime that I remember. This fall I am excited to attend my first wedding! M cousin, Kevin is marrying some girl. They begged my daddy to make the cake (so they could save money). He said yes... even though he quit that business before that thing called "long-term memory" kicked in for me.

It will be pink-swirly roses and orange tiger lillies. It's a three-tier two-toned cake. White and a very light orangey-peach. it's gonna be pretty!!! Then there will be two matching satellite cakes for extra guests. So today my daddy's been working on the centerpiece for the first satellite cake.

Pic!

^^tilt your head. =P

ilyZ!
~*Pinkie!♥

Sunday. Aug. 16.  was. the. most tragic day. of. my. lifeeee.

OK so it didn't start out entirely bad. But I knew for days in advance that by the end of Sunday I would be heart broken...

Let me tell you how the day went for me....

I woke up for church and tried to get ready. The night before had been a pretty ugly picture of me scrambling to shower, pick out clothes and straighten my hair because the next day was Sunday and I especially wanted to look gooood. But Saturday night I got a very little amount of sleep (despite my best efforts). 

So I was really tired. I was glad I got to stay in nursery that day (although we don't have babies in our church and the older ones go to "Tiny hearts" which is a daycare class), because it kept me awake and I feel bad for pastor when I'm falling asleep. Anyways I got to look after a few 3yr. old boys until the Tiny Hearts teacher came in after the first half of service was over. Anyways, it felt good to have authority over a screaming little boy. And I got him to stop screaming :)

The reason the day was bad was because it was the last day I got to see Nate. My crush is soooo amazing. Tuesday, August 18th, he left Missouri to go allll the way over to California for college. A Bible major and a music minor. (did you know he plays pianooo! ♥) Sunday evening came. He and I cross paths as I smile nicely, hoping my hair looks perfect, as I say, "hi!." It doesn't seem so awkward since we had a great time last Friday (MMM, I still remember staring deeep into his eyes as I tried to figure out which card was his...I totally let him win!). His reply is a casual-but-nice "hi."
Those were the last words we shared.

After church he had a bye-bye party. I sat at a table alone the majority of the night. Sure, I got to eat his name in frosting, but I wish I had eaten it with him there. Or I would gladly have never eaten it if it meant he could stay.

Afterwards, I was going from the fellowship hall to the foyer so I opened the door. At the same time, he was trying to go from the foyer into the fellowship hall. We were blocking each other so finally he whispers a sorry and I just hold the door open silently. If I opened my mouth, I might cry.

I miss him already.

ilyZ!
~*Pinkie!♥